NIGHT FORCE
DEMO V- 2.1 
Suggestions

When I totally re-did the Night Force Dialogue in the game, I changed about 95% of the text and made the dialogue much longer. I know what I am implying into the emotions of the characters when I am typing the dialogue, but I'm not sure that you will totally grasp the concept of what the characters are trying to say. 

This dialogue took me about an extra 10 hours to write, and I am happy the way it turned out...even if it is a little confusing. Here is a list of the characters and what they were trying to do/achieve during the first part of the quest. 

I know that some parts will be confusing and I hope that after reading what I am implying, you will give me suggestions on how to change the dialogue for the better, in a less confusing tone. 

Could you E-mail me at Blaze03083@aol.com and tell me what I need to change to get my points across, or tell me if I am doing a good job. 

*NOTE* I WOULD PLAY THE DEMO FIRST SO YOU ACCUALLY SEE THE DIALOGUE. OTHERWISE IF YOU READ THIS AND KNOW WHAT I AM IMPLYING I WILL RECIEVE NO HELP AT ALL BECUASE YOU WILL KNOW WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY...


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WILL- 
	Will is trying to figure out why his dreams frequently occur and why he is drawn into living them. (Plains) When he awakens from his "dream" he notices that there is no blood on his hand...even after there was when he killed the phantom knights in his delusion. Will is trying to hold on to his sanity, trying to keep his promise to Roger. He wants to return the Crystal of Water to the rebellion in Le Rance Egout and puts his revenge off for the sake of Roger, and Cains fear of Tyme.

CAIN-
	Cain is being a pessimist during the first part of his adventure. He really thinks that Will needs to let the past go, becuase he beleves that Will's attitude (His need to revenge) is the cause of his own nightmares. After suffering from the mental torture from the Queen and from the Doctor, Cain becomes afraid and doesn't want to go back to Tyme. (Yet he does anyways...his concious gets the better of him.)

KING TYME-
	King Tyme is one of the most complex characters in this game, and I don't really think I got his point across...He is trying to gather the Crystals because he is VERY powerhungry, but he is a hippocrite about it. Notice he says "We are not barbarians" he is meaning that he will only kill who he needs to kill...yet this will almost always backfire into a murderious rampage, like in Will's village. (When he kills not only Will's parents, but Cain's too) I wanted to portray Tyme as decietful, yet he appealed to the people. (Queens speech in Cains Scenario.) He appeals to the people by telling them they need knights to find the Crystals so they can all live better by ending war...yet he only wants the Crystals to cause destruction and drafts many people into a war with the rebellion at Le Rance Egout.

QUEEN TYME-
	She is also one of the most complex villians in this game. I wanted her to be true to herself, when she was explaining to Cain about the "test". She only wants to use the Crystals/Night Force to make the Kingdom of Tyme a better place for all of the peasants...nothing more. She is very sorry for having to use Cain to try one method that might work to save the empire. She wants to end the rebellions, and bring peace to all of the nations, yet she will use any means nessisary. (Hence the use of Cain and his torture) She is sorry for how she uses people but believes that it is required that she is ruthless so she can end this war.

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Thank you for reading this VERY LONG summary of the characters. I know I didn't display all the characteristics I wanted to in my "first draft" of dialogue, and this is where you come in. Will you please E-mail me and give me suggestions such as "The queens plan wasn't really explained that well...It really confused me." and then explain why it confused me. 

THANK YOU!
	Matt McArdle
	AKA Blaze03083

Blaze@rpgpavilion.net
Blaze03083@aol.com



